I'll Thank Me for this Later...

With this most recent flare-up with UC, I have tried to come up with ways to help ease at least some of the burden of maintaining the healthiest diet I can on a regular basis.

I think one of the things that contributed to my backslide and eventual downfall was organic corn chips. Of all things. But, I found a brand I really love and they're just light and crispy and oh, so good with organic salsa.

However, becoming so tired of cooking that I could literally cry at the mere thought of it, they had become a regular meal for me. Just something I could sit down with, not have to prepare and something that would sustain me til the next meal.

Now I'm paying for all those lazy nights. Dearly. Ugh. Oh, so dearly.

So - I am trying to make cooking meals throughout the week a little easier on myself. 

For starters, I am going to try to do more meal prepping on Sundays. Dice veggies. Shred cheese. That sort of thing. I think that'll help quite a bit in and of itself. Already got a jump on this week. Two bowls full of shredded cheese, sliced tomatoes, squash and zucchini and diced onion. I even tried throwing the onion into a chopper, but I don't think I'll continue that 'cheat'. The onion just releases too much juice that way and it wasn't but a few more chops on the board by hand. I think just not having to chop every time I'm making something will be a big help.

And if I could knock out a big helping of a vegetable, that will help. Today, I cooked up a big pot of green beans. So, those should get me through most of the week, right there. (Thankfully, I don't mind eating the same thing several days in a row.) That just leaves a meat and maybe a sweet potato (that I can just literally poke a couple times and throw into the oven for 40 min's) each day. 

And... after nearly 15 years... I finally caved and bought a dang microwave. 

I much prefer leftovers either pan-heated or broiled. But, if it's another way of keeping me from dirtying the same pan one. more. time and standing over that darned stove one. more. time... I might just be willing to sacrifice the full potential of my leftovers in order to maintain some measure of sanity.

At least right now. After hitting a major wall with this whole 'eat whole foods for the rest of my living days' thing. 

But, for now, it's time to decide what for dinner tonight...

{sighhhh}

Life Lessons from My Journey with Food

For those of you who may not already know, I began, about 2 years ago, to treat my ongoing battle with Ulcerative Colitis with food. And it has really been amazing to see how well it has worked. Better than I ever could have imagined. Funny - how the body responds in kind, when you treat it the way it was intended to be treated.

But, it requires great discipline. Sacrifice. Obedience. Especially in this day and age.

I can see why fasting is used in the bible. There are so many spiritual lessons and parallels found in the discipline of diet; especially when you'd been accustomed to the Standard American Diet.

I always thought that fasting was solely self deprivation, as a means to focus more clearly on God. Which it certainly is. But, I've realized much more than that in these past couple of years of my dietary changes; even though I wasn't technically 'fasting'. 

(Savannah on her first trip to Dismeyworld, blessing her breakfast before heading out for the day.)

Blessing

I have come to better appreciate meal blessings, in a purer sense.

Famed Christian comedian, Tim Hawkins has a bit where he talks about how comical it is to ask the Lord to bless our American diet. 'Sometimes we pray over food and ask God to make up for the bad choices we make when we eat. No matter what it is. 'Lord, bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. - Lord, bless this bag of Cheetos and this jumbo Dr. Pepper, Lord. Somehow let this nourish us in some way. I don't know how you're gonna do it, Father, but we just trust in You now. Father, change the molecular structure of this food, this complete trash we're about to shove in our gullet; change the Cheeto into a carrot stick on the way down. Spirit of Low Carb rain down on me now! I pray a hedge of protection around my pancreas right now! Intervene!' "

Funny, not funny, right?  :)

Now, when I sit down to my meals, I can honestly ask the Lord for His blessing over what I'm about to eat. Knowing that I have done my best in the choices I've made.

Which leads us to...

Righteousness

In the same way that I can more fully ask God's blessing over my food, when I make the right choices, the same applies to all of life. If you continue to live in blatant sin, knowing you're making the wrong choices, can you honestly ask God to bless you in that? 

Sin

Lest I come off self-righteous, I have a confession to make.

After a full 13 months of being able to live completely med-free (after 10 years of treating my UC with drugs), I had to get a prescription for Prednisone yesterday. {boo}

I knew that lately I had been much more lax with my diet than I ought to be. I had done okay with my favorite corn chips from time to time, so naturally, those began to work their way into my diet more and more over time. (Even though I'm not supposed to have corn.) As well as dark chocolate and wine. And processed glazes and sour cream... Slippery slope, isn't it?

Same with lilfe. 

Like Casting Crowns sings "It's a slow fade." Different folks have asked me over the years, "Yeah, but do you have to be that strict?" This is why my answer is an emphatic "Yes." Because oftentimes, even mild infractions or disobediences lead to others. And before you know it... you're spiraling out of control.

We are prone to self-depravity. 

Confession #2: When I got that Prednisone in hand last night, my first thought was "Hmmm... I wonder what I could get away with eating, at least while on this?" 

Geez! Never believe for one second that this thing is easy for me. Or that I judge anyone for their choices. If I ever seem irritated, I'm more than likely just jealous that you don't have the negative ramifications that I have, in eating whatever the heck you want.  :)

Grace

But, thankfully, He knows our sinful nature and extends us grace. In the case of this flare-up, I have a doctor named Socoloff (that I love) and an awesome nurse, Cindy who are there to catch me when I fail.

And in life, I have a loving Father, Who is prepared to catch me as well.

Even in my own poor choices.

Trust

In this day and age, it's hard to know who to trust. Same applies to foods and their distributors. 

Is that produce truly organic? Can I trust that those eggs are actually pastured?...

I don't know. 

But, I have come to trust. And not in the distributors, but in God. In asking His blessing over my meals, I am in a sense saying to Him "Lord, You know that I have made the best decisions I can make. I have bought what I understand to be the best for me. Please honor this and bless it to my body." I truly believe that when you make the best decisons you can, based on what you've been given, He will honor that.

Same goes in life.

Bounty

Yes, in this fine country of ours, we have, as a whole, gone way off-track from the intended way of eating. We were intended to eat to live; we have become much more prone to live to eat. A gluttonous way of life, full of empty fillers, sweeteners and manufactured components - Oh, my word. If that's not applicable to life!

BUT - we also have a large number of folks out there who are doing their best to provide better options. Organic products, farmers markets, roadside stands, water purifiers... Some countries are lucky to have a water source at all. We are abundantly blessed. 

My food blessing over these last couple of years has been:

He has provided us with what we need. We, as a culture, have just distorted what He developed and saw fit for us. We, in turn, have taken what has been given to us and added to it, taken from it, manipulated it and then mass produced it.

That is far from what He originally saw and deemed as "good". 

Again. Same goes for life.

It's funny, as much as I still crave things like Chick-fil-A breakfast and Pizza Hut personal pan pizza from Target, I have come to truly appreciate the basics that we were originally given. Fruits. Vegetables. Meats. And even having grown my own tomatoes, basil and strawberries this year, I was just reminded of life's simple blessings. 

And how truly 'good' they really are.

                                                                                                                                               

Lessons in the Descent

Back in October, I discovered a few documentaries on Netflix concerning food. How what we eat really does affect our whole body more than most of us realize. I was just coming to the end of yet another flare with my Colitis and ready to try whatever I could to lessen the toll this stupid disease has on my body and hopefully avoid any further medicinal measures. Next up being bi-weekly injections of a drug that strips your entire immune system down. 

There's got to be a better way.

So, I spent the next several weeks spending every spare moment of my time scouring the internet, for information about any holistic options that were available out there. And I was SO encouraged! It was a great comfort and surprise to me, to come across so many folks out there who have actually been able to manage their UC simply with their diets. 

I was desperate and just determined enough to follow suit.

I purged my entire kitchen of all its glorious contents, save a bottle of olive oil and jar of cashews. Ordered a few cookbooks to further guide me. And I indulged in one last heavenly breakfast from Chick-fil-A. 

I went all in.

And I did pretty well, too. For the most part. I enjoy cooking, so though it was a challenge not to have my usual go-to items to work with, I was still able to enjoy many dinners at home. And a smoothie every morning was not all that bad. 

But then, just a few weeks into it, I felt overwhelmingly deprived. And incredibly frustrated.

I hit a wall.

Chicken broth for lunch while co-workers walk in with Wendy's bags. Passing up on all my favorite sides at a holiday get-together. Going out to lunch and coming away dissatisfied because although I had a perfectly fine meal, I couldn't get my 'usuals'... my favorites. Turning my Dad down for dinner because I couldn't take the blatant reminder of all my new restrictions. 

I broke down. Couldn't take anymore. 

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I had had enough and went to Publix after work and quite shamelessly purchased a family-sized bag of fried chicken, mac-and-cheese, a sack of Tastykake donuts  and a bottle of Moscato.

And it was good.

Man, was it good. And thus began my slippery descent back into all that was processed and Specific Carb / Paleo illegal.

From there, I just decided to 'ride the holidays out' and get a fresh start in the New Year. Like so many of us do every year. And, as such, have been completely gluttonous (funny, how that sounds so much like glutenous). All my favorites. Sausage and rice. Fajita nachos. Teriyaki Salmon. Lasagne. Donuts. Cheesecake.

And although I don't see the immediate repercussions, I know my body is paying a price. With every self-indulgent decision that I make.

Funny how weariness and a sense of deprivation can lead us away from what we know is the absolute best for us, isn't it? And leave us shamelessly wallowing in a place we don't belong?

And I can't help but notice the spiritual parallel in this struggle. 

It resonates all too clearly for me to miss.

Time to get determined once again.

But, you'd better pray for me. Those Tastykakes sure are good.